Reflecting: One Year Later

Time has really flown by; it was a year ago, today, that I lost my job.

It has been a rocky year for me.

To be truthful, I was devastated and extremely hurt by the way I was "let go." It caught me completely by surprised and really rocked the security of my little world. I immediately wanted to run from all the people who hurt me and never look back. However, I've always felt God prompting me to face my problems and not run away from them. I could never truly express to anyone, just how tough the road was for me this year. I was doing everything in my power to hold myself together, and if I allowed one little crack in my wall, the floodgates of what might flow out could not be contained. In addition, no one but me seemed to understand how big of a deal this was...like I should be able to get over it quickly.

I've experienced a whole range of emotions, as most people would. I've been bitter, angry, jealous, torn, frustrated, and so much more. All the while attempting to remind myself of the promises of God and know that He had a plan...even in this.

Even now, I'm not over it.

I still don't have an answer for any of my why's? I'm not sure if I ever will on this earth. I still have a hard time looking the people who hurt me in the eye, especially after they moved on so quickly. I still pretend and say that I'm "okay," when they ask, even if I'm not. I mean, what's a girl really to do in this scenario? My world stopped turning, but theirs kept on moving, leaving me completely in the dust. My turmoil as a result of their actions seemed to have absolutely no affect on them.

I've been trying to move on, but what does that look like for me? I've prayed about forgiveness, focused on my job and my relationship with God. Funny thing is that God has been pretty quiet.

I'm definitely ready to not just be putting one foot in front of the other. I want my joy back; more importantly, I want to thrive in whatever circumstances God has placed in front of me. Trust me, I realize things could be so much worse.

Despite that, I'm always hoping for more...from myself and the people in my life. It has been one long year, but God has put some great friends in my life. They have helped me to laugh when I've wanted to cry, treated me to dinner when I jobless, put up with my moods, and most importantly stood by my side. To those folks, I couldn't have made it through this year without you.

And...I'm moving on, and I don't know what that looks like. I'm sure there will be more bumps in the road on this journey, but I'm ready. This is just one of the songs that I've enjoyed in the last few months.

http://youtu.be/hYMM3FYPv30

Busted Phalange!

As I'm sure you've realized, I haven't posted in quite some time. I haven't been able to type for the last 6 weeks, and it is still a little sketchy.

Back on July 6, I went out cycling, and had a bike accident. I don't really know what happened, but I fell. When I peeled myself off of the concrete from a face down position, my left pinky finger was broken in an unlikely way. It was stuck in a crooked position, and I knew the a visit to the ER was imminent.

However, I was out by myself, and had to "effect self rescue" as the guys on Dual Survival would say. Thankfully, I has my trusty iphone with me. I dug it out of my bike bag and called my parents; but, they were working in the yard and didn't here the phone. My brother was much further away (20 mi.) , but I called him anyway. He answered the phone and began to make his way to me. He was definitely my hero that night.

While waiting for him a couple things happened. Nice people came by and moved my bike out of the way of other traffic on the levee, checked on me, and offered to go by my house to tell my parents. Me, being a photographer, felt the urge to share a picture of my broken finger on Facebook. Some people appreciated this, some were horrified by the picture, and others were horrified that I was taking pictures instead of crying. After that, I had to make my way to a spot where Chris could pick me up, so I walked my bike with my right hand about 1/2 a mile with my phone tucked under my left arm with the mangled finger to be ready for his call.

I spent the evening in the ER, and the staff at West Jeff was pretty great. My brother was so freaked the whole time because he doesn't like hospitals, but he was a trooper hanging out with me there. I did my best to entertain him, even though that bothered him as well...I guess he thought I should cry or something because of the swelling and relentless throbbing of my finger.

Obviously, I left the hospital late that night with a reset finger, my arm in a cast, and a handy prescription for anti-nausea and pain medicine. I was pretty out of it from being sedated for the resetting portion of the evening, but the family got me home and into bed.

Then, the road to recovery began, but more about that in future posts. I've been documenting the process, so here are three images from the beginning. The initial shot I posted to Facebook (a little blurry but my hand was shaking), a better one I forced my brother to take while waiting in the ER, and the first of my three casts. Enjoy!

Cody & Emily

Cody and Emily are two of my friends. Emily recently posted on Facebook to Cody that they needed some pictures. You can bet that I interjected and offered up my services, which got Emily very excited. At about that time, Cody got nervous; he doesn't like pictures.

On the day of the shoot the weather was temperamental. At the last minute, we deemed the weather good enough to go out photographing. Yay! Apparently, Cody didn't share my enthusiasm because I found out that he had been literally praying for rain all afternoon. This just cracked me up, and I had to laugh at how much he wanted to put this off for a little longer.

Despite all of the obstacles...I had a blast. Emily and Cody are both gorgeous people, so making images of them was a breeze. Especially Emily, I was actually getting annoyed when editing at just how darn cute she was in every photo...even the ones where she was talking. That's just not fair! :)

See what I'm talking about for yourself and check out some of my favorites below.

I Heart Japan!

...even though I've never been anywhere except the airport. I was supposed to spend two years of my life there, but it didn't work out. Japan is definitely on my unspoken bucket list; I must go before I die.

You can imagine my surprise when I found out that my friend Natalee is part Japanese. I've been wanting to do a Japanese inspired shoot for awhile, and she was a perfect person to be part of bringing to reality.

We went to several less urban spots in the city that lent themselves to a prettier backdrop than my normal grunge and graffiti. One spot off of Metairie Road even had bamboo; it was perfect.

As always, I had a blast with Natalee, and Lydia came along to provide laughs and support to the shoot. I absolutely adore the results. I have to give a shout out to Caroline for making the flower we used in Natalee's hair out of coffee filters...isn't that just amazing?

Ben & Sarah

My friend Allison is one member of a family of four; she happens to be the mom. Her kids are each unique and full of personality.

Her son, Ben, warmed up to after the initial time that we met. His expression and the way he says my name delight me each and every time I see his smiling face.

On the other hand, her daughter Sarah took several months to even begin to tolerate me, and even then she still had moments where I wasn't her favorite. Thankfully, she's grown up a little and has realized that I'm pretty cool...ha, ha!

I spent a morning with them recently for a photo session. Originally, Allison wanted to go to the zoo, but I'm a pretty firm believer in not trying to have a photo session at a place where kids are normally allowed to go nuts. Parents never want their children going nuts during a photo session they're paying me to shoot. :)

We agreed to try out the Marigny for our location, and I think we were both more than pleased with the results. The kids were superb and really cooperative, which makes my job much easier.

The only hiccup in our time together was when some lady pulled up next to us and yelled at me for being a bad mother. One, I couldn't figure out why she was so angry because I was the one laying in the street...the kids were safe and secure on the sidewalk. Two, last time I checked, I'm not a mother. It was interesting and just another reminder of how insane and great it is to live in New Orleans.

Awkwardness

Awkwardness...it's part of life; well, at least my life. Not because I'm the awkward one, although I do have my moments.

It rears its ugly and sometimes entertaining head everywhere I go. I wish I could just poke fun at the situations I encounter, but sometimes they're just down right embarrassing.

For me, it's easier when I'm the one caught in an awkward moment; I can laugh at myself. Sometimes, I feel so bad for other people when they just can't help it...it's their middle name.

Do you, like me, experience these all too common treats in your everyday life? I'd LOVE to hear what they are; here are a few things I find awkward lately:

1. Eating in silence with someone else present in the lunch room at work.

2. People who don't understand social cues.

3. Jokes that are completely inappropriate.

4. Customers who tell me they're going to make me a better designer, even though they have no
    education or experience. Just the sheer greatness of who they are MUST rub off.

5. Keeping secrets when someone asks me a direct question related to what I know and pretend not to.

6. Trying to hide from certain customers because the sight of them strikes fear into my heart.

7. When I don't get my bosses jokes, and he doesn't get mine.

8. Any time a customer makes a reference to taking you on a date or directly asks you out. There's NO
    good answer.

9. When two close friends are arguing in my presence.

10. Hearing people use the bathroom because the lunch room is so silent.

These are the first things that came to mind. I hope you comment and share your favorite awkward moments of yourself or the people in your life.

Me & My Bro

I tried to think out of the box this year for Mother's Day. My mom loves to read, but I'm tired of trying to find books that she hasn't read. It was time to get creative.

I also had this other small problem. We still had my senior portrait hanging in our living room, and lets just say that it has been awhile since high school.

To kill two birds with one stone, I thought it would be fun for my brother and I to have new, updated photos made for my mom. My brother would have also loved this idea too, if it didn't require him to be in the photos. Needless to say, he survived.

My friend, Joe, took some great shots of us, and I wanted to give everyone a peak. I really appreciate Joe giving up a couple hours to make this happen at the last minute. Plus, it was fun to spend some time with him too.

Can you guess which one I chose to give to mom?