Time has really flown by; it was a year ago, today, that I lost my job.
It has been a rocky year for me.
To be truthful, I was devastated and extremely hurt by the way I was "let go." It caught me completely by surprised and really rocked the security of my little world. I immediately wanted to run from all the people who hurt me and never look back. However, I've always felt God prompting me to face my problems and not run away from them. I could never truly express to anyone, just how tough the road was for me this year. I was doing everything in my power to hold myself together, and if I allowed one little crack in my wall, the floodgates of what might flow out could not be contained. In addition, no one but me seemed to understand how big of a deal this was...like I should be able to get over it quickly.
I've experienced a whole range of emotions, as most people would. I've been bitter, angry, jealous, torn, frustrated, and so much more. All the while attempting to remind myself of the promises of God and know that He had a plan...even in this.
Even now, I'm not over it.
I still don't have an answer for any of my why's? I'm not sure if I ever will on this earth. I still have a hard time looking the people who hurt me in the eye, especially after they moved on so quickly. I still pretend and say that I'm "okay," when they ask, even if I'm not. I mean, what's a girl really to do in this scenario? My world stopped turning, but theirs kept on moving, leaving me completely in the dust. My turmoil as a result of their actions seemed to have absolutely no affect on them.
I've been trying to move on, but what does that look like for me? I've prayed about forgiveness, focused on my job and my relationship with God. Funny thing is that God has been pretty quiet.
I'm definitely ready to not just be putting one foot in front of the other. I want my joy back; more importantly, I want to thrive in whatever circumstances God has placed in front of me. Trust me, I realize things could be so much worse.
Despite that, I'm always hoping for more...from myself and the people in my life. It has been one long year, but God has put some great friends in my life. They have helped me to laugh when I've wanted to cry, treated me to dinner when I jobless, put up with my moods, and most importantly stood by my side. To those folks, I couldn't have made it through this year without you.
And...I'm moving on, and I don't know what that looks like. I'm sure there will be more bumps in the road on this journey, but I'm ready. This is just one of the songs that I've enjoyed in the last few months.
http://youtu.be/hYMM3FYPv30
It has been a rocky year for me.
To be truthful, I was devastated and extremely hurt by the way I was "let go." It caught me completely by surprised and really rocked the security of my little world. I immediately wanted to run from all the people who hurt me and never look back. However, I've always felt God prompting me to face my problems and not run away from them. I could never truly express to anyone, just how tough the road was for me this year. I was doing everything in my power to hold myself together, and if I allowed one little crack in my wall, the floodgates of what might flow out could not be contained. In addition, no one but me seemed to understand how big of a deal this was...like I should be able to get over it quickly.
I've experienced a whole range of emotions, as most people would. I've been bitter, angry, jealous, torn, frustrated, and so much more. All the while attempting to remind myself of the promises of God and know that He had a plan...even in this.
Even now, I'm not over it.
I still don't have an answer for any of my why's? I'm not sure if I ever will on this earth. I still have a hard time looking the people who hurt me in the eye, especially after they moved on so quickly. I still pretend and say that I'm "okay," when they ask, even if I'm not. I mean, what's a girl really to do in this scenario? My world stopped turning, but theirs kept on moving, leaving me completely in the dust. My turmoil as a result of their actions seemed to have absolutely no affect on them.
I've been trying to move on, but what does that look like for me? I've prayed about forgiveness, focused on my job and my relationship with God. Funny thing is that God has been pretty quiet.
I'm definitely ready to not just be putting one foot in front of the other. I want my joy back; more importantly, I want to thrive in whatever circumstances God has placed in front of me. Trust me, I realize things could be so much worse.
Despite that, I'm always hoping for more...from myself and the people in my life. It has been one long year, but God has put some great friends in my life. They have helped me to laugh when I've wanted to cry, treated me to dinner when I jobless, put up with my moods, and most importantly stood by my side. To those folks, I couldn't have made it through this year without you.
And...I'm moving on, and I don't know what that looks like. I'm sure there will be more bumps in the road on this journey, but I'm ready. This is just one of the songs that I've enjoyed in the last few months.
http://youtu.be/hYMM3FYPv30
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