Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

At least I hope that's the case. I've been insanely busy lately because I made a big life decision. Hopefully you'll be happy to see this blog updated.

I made a plan! I'm not the type of person who sets goals for my year or my life. I may have tentative things rolling around in my head of what I'd like to do or see happen, but rarely is it anything concrete.

I've decided to go to nursing school! Feel free to take a minute, as almost everyone in my life has said, huh?

I've been a graphic designer for ten years now; that's really hard for me to admit. It makes me feel old and somewhat seasoned as professional. My career path has not looked anything like I thought it ever would, and it doesn't accurately reflect who I am as a designer. Don't get me wrong; I LOVE designing and photography! I'm actually hoping that in this new career, I'll have more time for both of those things. I also want to travel; there's a great big world out there that I want to discover and capture with my camera.

Above all of those things though, I find myself wanting to be able to help people. I feel like this will give me that opportunity and open up some other doors to serve.

I've been taking classes this semester and working full time, which is why I have absolutely no time for blogging. :) Lord willing, I'll survive these prerequisites and be admitted to nursing school for the Fall of 2013. Check out the image below of my in Biology Lab.

Despite not having much time, I have tons of images and logos that I'm want to share. Stayed tuned to see what I've been up.

The Road to Recovery

I never imagined that a broken finger took such a long recovery period. EVER!

The initial break wasn't too bad. I know what you're thinking if you saw the pictures, but it happened so quickly that I didn't have time to stress about it. For me, it was the three days following my ER visit that really kicked my butt. My fingers swelled up like sausages inside of a pretty tight cast, which obviously made my whole hand hurt.

My mom took me to the orthopedist the next day for some follow up. He checked out the x-rays, deemed the setting the ER doc did good, and told me to come back in nine days to see how I was healing. I was in tons of pain, so I was really happy he didn't mess with the finger.

The next day I had planned to attempt to go to work, but a new symptom hit me. I developed some severe chest pains every time I took a deep breath. Maybe I'm a little paranoid when it comes to my health, but I wanted to get it checked out. Mom drove me to another appointment. Apparently, I bruised some chest muscles when I smacked the pavement, so that was the cause of the additional pain. This was worse than the hand for a few days because it made every movement when I was laying in bed difficult and excruciating.

The next Friday, I had my next orthopedist appointment, and my finger was healing crooked. He schedule the surgery for the following Monday to place a pin in my finger. The surgery went smoothly (not like I would know if it didn't), and I got another cast that would stay on for an additional two weeks. Can I just say, having a cast is no fun?

Two weeks later the cast was cut off and the pin removed with no numbing whatsoever. Yikes! Actually, it didn't hurt at all.

Then, the therapy began, which I'll share more about later. Now for the good stuff...pictures.

1. Bruising and the somewhat crooked pinky before the surgery.

2. Freezing and ready for surgery.

3. Close up of the pin in my finger at the removal visit (it looked totally different than I imagined).

4. Another angle showing how bad I needed to exfoliate.

5. The hole after the pin removal.

The only thing I'm missing is a picture of my x-ray.

Reflecting: One Year Later

Time has really flown by; it was a year ago, today, that I lost my job.

It has been a rocky year for me.

To be truthful, I was devastated and extremely hurt by the way I was "let go." It caught me completely by surprised and really rocked the security of my little world. I immediately wanted to run from all the people who hurt me and never look back. However, I've always felt God prompting me to face my problems and not run away from them. I could never truly express to anyone, just how tough the road was for me this year. I was doing everything in my power to hold myself together, and if I allowed one little crack in my wall, the floodgates of what might flow out could not be contained. In addition, no one but me seemed to understand how big of a deal this was...like I should be able to get over it quickly.

I've experienced a whole range of emotions, as most people would. I've been bitter, angry, jealous, torn, frustrated, and so much more. All the while attempting to remind myself of the promises of God and know that He had a plan...even in this.

Even now, I'm not over it.

I still don't have an answer for any of my why's? I'm not sure if I ever will on this earth. I still have a hard time looking the people who hurt me in the eye, especially after they moved on so quickly. I still pretend and say that I'm "okay," when they ask, even if I'm not. I mean, what's a girl really to do in this scenario? My world stopped turning, but theirs kept on moving, leaving me completely in the dust. My turmoil as a result of their actions seemed to have absolutely no affect on them.

I've been trying to move on, but what does that look like for me? I've prayed about forgiveness, focused on my job and my relationship with God. Funny thing is that God has been pretty quiet.

I'm definitely ready to not just be putting one foot in front of the other. I want my joy back; more importantly, I want to thrive in whatever circumstances God has placed in front of me. Trust me, I realize things could be so much worse.

Despite that, I'm always hoping for more...from myself and the people in my life. It has been one long year, but God has put some great friends in my life. They have helped me to laugh when I've wanted to cry, treated me to dinner when I jobless, put up with my moods, and most importantly stood by my side. To those folks, I couldn't have made it through this year without you.

And...I'm moving on, and I don't know what that looks like. I'm sure there will be more bumps in the road on this journey, but I'm ready. This is just one of the songs that I've enjoyed in the last few months.

http://youtu.be/hYMM3FYPv30

Busted Phalange!

As I'm sure you've realized, I haven't posted in quite some time. I haven't been able to type for the last 6 weeks, and it is still a little sketchy.

Back on July 6, I went out cycling, and had a bike accident. I don't really know what happened, but I fell. When I peeled myself off of the concrete from a face down position, my left pinky finger was broken in an unlikely way. It was stuck in a crooked position, and I knew the a visit to the ER was imminent.

However, I was out by myself, and had to "effect self rescue" as the guys on Dual Survival would say. Thankfully, I has my trusty iphone with me. I dug it out of my bike bag and called my parents; but, they were working in the yard and didn't here the phone. My brother was much further away (20 mi.) , but I called him anyway. He answered the phone and began to make his way to me. He was definitely my hero that night.

While waiting for him a couple things happened. Nice people came by and moved my bike out of the way of other traffic on the levee, checked on me, and offered to go by my house to tell my parents. Me, being a photographer, felt the urge to share a picture of my broken finger on Facebook. Some people appreciated this, some were horrified by the picture, and others were horrified that I was taking pictures instead of crying. After that, I had to make my way to a spot where Chris could pick me up, so I walked my bike with my right hand about 1/2 a mile with my phone tucked under my left arm with the mangled finger to be ready for his call.

I spent the evening in the ER, and the staff at West Jeff was pretty great. My brother was so freaked the whole time because he doesn't like hospitals, but he was a trooper hanging out with me there. I did my best to entertain him, even though that bothered him as well...I guess he thought I should cry or something because of the swelling and relentless throbbing of my finger.

Obviously, I left the hospital late that night with a reset finger, my arm in a cast, and a handy prescription for anti-nausea and pain medicine. I was pretty out of it from being sedated for the resetting portion of the evening, but the family got me home and into bed.

Then, the road to recovery began, but more about that in future posts. I've been documenting the process, so here are three images from the beginning. The initial shot I posted to Facebook (a little blurry but my hand was shaking), a better one I forced my brother to take while waiting in the ER, and the first of my three casts. Enjoy!

Every Girl Must Know

Or, at least should know how to change a tire. My dad taught me, before I was allowed to drive away my junior year of college in my new-to-me 1994 turquoise Saturn. Sweet! Not so sure what I would recall of that lesson today from ten years ago.

Yesterday I had to change a tire, but thankfully, it was not on my car. My bike had a flat. I'm not sure where it came from, but alas, it was flat. Maria had come over to go riding with me, so I was determined to change it. Needless to say, dad never taught me how to change a flat bike tire.

I've never been so happy to be at home because I consulted the internet. It was minimally helpful, and I set to work. There were some bumps along the way (letting some of the air out twice), but I got it done...eventually. I was really nervous when I hopped on at the beginning of our ride; surely, I had done something ignorant and the front wheel would fall off at any moment, sending me soaring over the handle bars into the hard concrete. Good thing I was rocking my bike helmet (shout out to Meagan for telling me to protect my brain) for the journey.

Thankfully, everything went smoothly, until...

Maria got a flat on the ride home with my other bike. We walked the rest of the way to my house.

I'm happy to say that I'm a little more experienced should anyone need to change a flat. :)

Have a terrific Monday...with NO flat tires.

Sin We Don't Speak Of

I finally saw the movie The Village not that long ago. The characters in the movie are contained in a small community and fearful of "those they don't speak of," the apparent threat living right outside their perfect, safe, and cozy lives.

I've been thinking about that so much lately, especially in relation to my own life. Lets be honest, if you know me, my life has looked pretty crappy lately. As with most people, there is even more going on internally. There is something in my life that I believe is sin for me that isn't spoken of in church life today.

Food.

Ever since I can remember, I've always been overweight, chubby, big boned, etc... Whatever you want to call it; I've always struggled with food, even before I really knew it was a struggle for me. Other kids made fun of me, I tried to hide it, and I did my best to develop a "great personality."

Because of my "great personality," I always had lots of friends that kept me pretty grounded. For the most part, they kept me focused on what was important...what was on the inside. Of course I still believe that what's inside me is much more important than its packaging.

However, I always had Satan nagging me and reminding me that "you're not thin like the other girls, no one will love you because you aren't thin like them, you'll always be second best, etc..."

It is easy to feel this way in our culture where stick figures are flaunted as the only type of "beautiful" and what everyone should attain to be and look like. Our culture even promotes promiscuous dress for young women. Women in our culture today are begging to be notice and for all the wrong reasons. Why do we allow this world to dictate how we view ourselves and what we strive for?

Anyway, that's a little off subject. Back to the point.

For me, food is my problem. For me, food can too easily be sin in my life. In my life, it is powerful, hard to say no to, and it's everywhere. It's what we do in New Orleans...we eat, and then we eat some more.

I want to be the best me I can be for the sake of the kingdom and for living a fulfilled life, and for me, I can't do either of those well when I'm constantly worrying about food and my weight. I also want to be healthy, and fat Katie is not a healthy Katie. It's something I'm working on...constantly.

So where do I go from here? How do I make good choices for me? How do I keep from over indulging?

A friend told me awhile back that she was praying to want only good things. Me too, I want to desire good things for myself that build me up, make me better, that encourage me, help me to see the glass as half full, and that includes food.

I don't have all the answers, but I have a few scriptures that are helping me on my journey.

Isaiah 55:2
Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

1 Corinthians 6:12
Everything is permissible for me-but not everything is beneficial.

Galatians 6:3
If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.

I know this has been a long post, but I hope it gave you some insight, as it has for me. Also, let's start being more open about this because we give Satan ammunition by keeping it to ourselves.

Life Lessons | One

Life is all about learning. It seems like there are always things left to be discovered and discovered by me. It's just when I think I've got life figure out, I think I know who I am, or I think I have the right thing to say in a given situation that my train gets completely derailed. Yesterday was one of those days for me.

A good friend of mine lost his mom. She had been sick for some time, and he had just purchased a ticket to fly back overseas to see her 30 minutes before receiving the phone call of her death.

When I received his text telling me what was going on, my heart sank. He is basically here without any of his family, so I felt the immediate need to rush to his apartment. I had no clue what I would say to him or what I could do to comfort him, but I knew that I needed to be there for him, whatever that meant. Once I arrived, I realized that words weren't necessary. If they were required, I would have failed miserable as a friend because I had none. Thank goodness that he just needed me there, to sit quietly while he made phone calls and arrangements.

God had given him peace, as he sometimes does in times of crisis. God had mentally prepared him for this moment, so he was able to accept God's comfort too. More importantly, she was a believer, so she is enjoying a much better place and is free from the pain she experienced here on earth.

I learned that living life alongside people is a powerful thing; it's what God has called us to do. It's almost always messy and usually calls us to be a better version of ourselves, but it is one of the most rewarding things on this earth.

Romans 12:15
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

I want to be a better version of me; the person that is only possible with God by my side. "Dying to self" is a difficult thing, but it is something that God has called each of us to do.

Selflessness. I'm up for the challenge, are you?