Sin We Don't Speak Of

I finally saw the movie The Village not that long ago. The characters in the movie are contained in a small community and fearful of "those they don't speak of," the apparent threat living right outside their perfect, safe, and cozy lives.

I've been thinking about that so much lately, especially in relation to my own life. Lets be honest, if you know me, my life has looked pretty crappy lately. As with most people, there is even more going on internally. There is something in my life that I believe is sin for me that isn't spoken of in church life today.

Food.

Ever since I can remember, I've always been overweight, chubby, big boned, etc... Whatever you want to call it; I've always struggled with food, even before I really knew it was a struggle for me. Other kids made fun of me, I tried to hide it, and I did my best to develop a "great personality."

Because of my "great personality," I always had lots of friends that kept me pretty grounded. For the most part, they kept me focused on what was important...what was on the inside. Of course I still believe that what's inside me is much more important than its packaging.

However, I always had Satan nagging me and reminding me that "you're not thin like the other girls, no one will love you because you aren't thin like them, you'll always be second best, etc..."

It is easy to feel this way in our culture where stick figures are flaunted as the only type of "beautiful" and what everyone should attain to be and look like. Our culture even promotes promiscuous dress for young women. Women in our culture today are begging to be notice and for all the wrong reasons. Why do we allow this world to dictate how we view ourselves and what we strive for?

Anyway, that's a little off subject. Back to the point.

For me, food is my problem. For me, food can too easily be sin in my life. In my life, it is powerful, hard to say no to, and it's everywhere. It's what we do in New Orleans...we eat, and then we eat some more.

I want to be the best me I can be for the sake of the kingdom and for living a fulfilled life, and for me, I can't do either of those well when I'm constantly worrying about food and my weight. I also want to be healthy, and fat Katie is not a healthy Katie. It's something I'm working on...constantly.

So where do I go from here? How do I make good choices for me? How do I keep from over indulging?

A friend told me awhile back that she was praying to want only good things. Me too, I want to desire good things for myself that build me up, make me better, that encourage me, help me to see the glass as half full, and that includes food.

I don't have all the answers, but I have a few scriptures that are helping me on my journey.

Isaiah 55:2
Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

1 Corinthians 6:12
Everything is permissible for me-but not everything is beneficial.

Galatians 6:3
If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.

I know this has been a long post, but I hope it gave you some insight, as it has for me. Also, let's start being more open about this because we give Satan ammunition by keeping it to ourselves.

Say Anything

Do you remember the movie Say Anything? It stars John Cusack, and at the end of the movie he is outside the girls window holding a boom box over his head. Yes, I said boom box, this movie was made in like 1989. If you're into older movies, this one is definitely worth watching.

At one of my recent shoots, one of the models broke out his own boom box. I was like....WHAAAT? However, his was an updated, super hip version of a boom box. Where the tape would normally go, you can slide in your ipod to project your tunes. It was so sweet, and I have pictures to prove it and the cool tennis shoes he was sporting that day. In addition, I went ahead and made him recreate the Say Anything pose...just for kicks.

Mehmet was a great sport, and he can hang around outside my window anytime. I'd love to know, what's your favorite old movie, and how did the guy get the girl back in the end?

 

For Megan!

One of my best friends, Megan, moved away a few months back. It was kind of devastating for me, even though she'd been preparing me for it during the two years she lived near me. They never planned to stay here long term. She also took her son and my favorite child in the world with her, imagine that? I miss them both terribly, but thankfully, they're not too far away. Hopefully, I'll be able to see them soon.

In the meantime, she asked me if I had any wrought iron photos because she wants to use them to decorate her bathroom. I can't remember half of what I have, so I decided to take some new ones...just for her to choose from. Joe & I went out roaming, and here are a few of the results. The additional photographs can be seen here.

Are You Naughty or Nice?

Kids are a blast. It's easy for me to say that because I don't have any. :)

I worked on a Christmas card for my friend Allison that required us to get a naughty and a nice picture of her children. We had a short and hastily put together session in her front yard since my schedule was booked up.

Our naughty pictures turned into kind of ferocious instead, and many of them have kept me laughing, especially since her son is one of the most well behaved children I know.

Here are a few of my favorites from our twenty minutes together.

Idols and Marriage.

It's an interesting combo.

A friend recently recommended I listen to a John Piper sermon called Single in Christ. It's John Piper, so I waited a little while because I wasn't sure if I could handle what he had to say. He's not exactly known for sugar coating the Gospel which I love listening to him. A good butt kicking from a sermon never hurt anyone, especially me. There's a link to the sermon above in case you want yours kicked too.

There's one thing that really stuck out to me. He makes a comment about how we've elevated marriage and given it idol status in America today. I had really never given a second thought to my desire for marriage getting in the way of me knowing Christ. Wow! He definitely dropped a bombshell on me because it's true. Society tells me it's better to be married, so I allow my personal desires for something as temporal as marriage to take the place or come before my desire to know God. Yikes!

I'm guilty! This was definitely a reminder, as I already know, that an idol is not just a statue made from wood. It can take so many different forms and even cause something good to become sin in your life.

Another thing is that I must be constantly probing myself for sin because sometimes we're just lazy about allowing it to remain in our lives. We don't take the time to ask God to show it to us because it's easier to keep it than deal with it.

Let's take the time to deal with our sin. I know it's something that I'm working on.

Ever Wonder?

I have a very strong desire to be great at my job, and this desire pushes me to learn new things, never settle for less, admit mistakes, and to keep striving to give 120%. The rest of my life could be completely chaotic, but my work life is organized, planned, and detailed. It's the only way to make sure all the different deadlines are met.

This causes me to ask myself sometimes, "Am I really good at what I do? Do people truly like my work?" Everyone must ask these types of questions, right? I mean...you'll know if your doctor isn't good because the results will be evident in your health. But, how do you know when your field is completely subjective like mine? I realize that this is partially answered by when clients continue to hire me or not, but how would you ever know without feedback?

The other day, I was reminded of how great if feels to be genuinely validated in what I do. No, my boss didn't tell me I'm terrific or anything (even though I am), but it came out of the blue from a close friend.

It was sincere, emphatic, and wasn't provoked by me. It absolutely made my day. So I'm giving a shout out to this anonymous friend and saying thanks.

Today, I'm going to try to make someone's day or at least encourage wherever I can. I hope you'll do the same because you never know when it will be just what the other person needs to hear.

And for crying out loud...take some pictures. :)