Sin We Don't Speak Of

I finally saw the movie The Village not that long ago. The characters in the movie are contained in a small community and fearful of "those they don't speak of," the apparent threat living right outside their perfect, safe, and cozy lives.

I've been thinking about that so much lately, especially in relation to my own life. Lets be honest, if you know me, my life has looked pretty crappy lately. As with most people, there is even more going on internally. There is something in my life that I believe is sin for me that isn't spoken of in church life today.

Food.

Ever since I can remember, I've always been overweight, chubby, big boned, etc... Whatever you want to call it; I've always struggled with food, even before I really knew it was a struggle for me. Other kids made fun of me, I tried to hide it, and I did my best to develop a "great personality."

Because of my "great personality," I always had lots of friends that kept me pretty grounded. For the most part, they kept me focused on what was important...what was on the inside. Of course I still believe that what's inside me is much more important than its packaging.

However, I always had Satan nagging me and reminding me that "you're not thin like the other girls, no one will love you because you aren't thin like them, you'll always be second best, etc..."

It is easy to feel this way in our culture where stick figures are flaunted as the only type of "beautiful" and what everyone should attain to be and look like. Our culture even promotes promiscuous dress for young women. Women in our culture today are begging to be notice and for all the wrong reasons. Why do we allow this world to dictate how we view ourselves and what we strive for?

Anyway, that's a little off subject. Back to the point.

For me, food is my problem. For me, food can too easily be sin in my life. In my life, it is powerful, hard to say no to, and it's everywhere. It's what we do in New Orleans...we eat, and then we eat some more.

I want to be the best me I can be for the sake of the kingdom and for living a fulfilled life, and for me, I can't do either of those well when I'm constantly worrying about food and my weight. I also want to be healthy, and fat Katie is not a healthy Katie. It's something I'm working on...constantly.

So where do I go from here? How do I make good choices for me? How do I keep from over indulging?

A friend told me awhile back that she was praying to want only good things. Me too, I want to desire good things for myself that build me up, make me better, that encourage me, help me to see the glass as half full, and that includes food.

I don't have all the answers, but I have a few scriptures that are helping me on my journey.

Isaiah 55:2
Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

1 Corinthians 6:12
Everything is permissible for me-but not everything is beneficial.

Galatians 6:3
If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.

I know this has been a long post, but I hope it gave you some insight, as it has for me. Also, let's start being more open about this because we give Satan ammunition by keeping it to ourselves.