The last couple of months have been going well for me. I've been pretty consistent in spending time with God, and I've been hearing from him on a regular basis as a result. After a rough start to this year, I was finally doing okay. I could say that and genuinely mean it when people have asked, "how are you doing?". Just as I was about to shift my life to cruise control, everything came crashing to a screeching halt last Friday.
I lost my job!
WHAT?
I became a casualty of the financial downturn in our economy. For some reason, I never thought it would happen to me.
I was definitely more upset by the shock of the whole thing than the actual loss of my job. It was effective immediately too and clearing out my office really sucked. I have to admit, I felt betrayed by the people who had known for two weeks and looked me in the eye each day like everything was fine. That's a killer on my ability to trust, but I'm making it.
All my eggs are in one basket...God's. I know that he MUST have a purpose for this and for the way this has happened. I'm throwing myself at him completely and fully, trusting him to come through for me. He knew this was coming way before I did, so I have to believe that he already knows where I'll end up. I feel like he's allowed this to occur for a reason. I have absolutely no idea what it is yet, but I'm waiting on him.
I'm not so good with patience, so you can imagine how this waiting thing is going. It has only been a few days, but I want to throw a temper tantrum and complain about how this isn't fair. I've worked hard and done the right thing...why, Lord? Then, I think of so many things that sober me...starving children, people without clean water, children without families, parents losing their children in war, being born with HIV, rape, geonocide, orphanages, and so much more. Does the loss of my job compare to any of these? No way! How can I even shed a tear when such things are happening in the world around me?
So, even though I want to scream at the top of my lungs and pump my fist in the air...I wait...on God. I'm eager to see what he has in store for me.
Katie, my friend, I was as shocked as you were last Friday. I felt many of the same emotions, but probably not nearly as intense as what you experienced. No matter what cliche I use or words I try to string together I will never be able to adequately express my deep appreciation for your friendship and professional expertise. Hang in there! We're praying for you and we join you as we wait in anticipation for the "next big thing" from God for your life.
ReplyDeleteIt was good to see you today and hang out, even though the reason you could hang out on a work day was so icky.... Katie, I'm praying for you! Feel free to go through the process of grieving your job loss, working through the anger (healthily, please!), and giving yourself the grace to have unhappy/angry/furious/sad/confused/whatever feelings about this unpleasant, awful, and unhappy situation.
ReplyDeleteI'm also really sad because now there will be a whole lot of crappy looking stuff up at the church. Sigh....
As usual, I am just reading my email from church tonight and learned that you were "let go." I can think of other cuts more meaningful, but, of course, no one is asking me. You are very talented and as soon as someone in the right place recognizes you are available, you will be getting a paycheck again. If I can help, just let me know. I am praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI so very much admire the way you're handling this, dear lady. I've found in all my long years that it usually means you're moving into something better. Meanwhile you - and we left behind - have some grieving to do. Love you, girl!
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm so sorry. You know you can always head up to Chattanooga for a visit. I'll be praying for you girl. Love and miss you!
ReplyDeleteKaren